


Roots

by Cirkne



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Happy Ending, M/M, angsty fluff, aro oikawa, nsfw mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 11:44:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5495861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cirkne/pseuds/Cirkne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Falling in love with Hajime makes sense to Tooru. Except that he doesn't, he can't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roots

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Mel because she has bad taste and a nice nemesis

Iwaizumi kisses him a week before graduation. Tooru kisses back because that's what he's supposed to do, he's seen the movies and read the books, best friends end up together. It seems right. Iwaizumi already knows him better than everyone else, tells him all the right things. His hands are rough to the touch but his lips soft. So, Tooru kisses back and he waits. He waits for something to change.

They go to different colleges but call each other as soon as they're in their new dorms. Iwaizumi has already met his roommate and they talk about that, talk about the ride, they tell each other they're already missing one another and it's true. Except that when Tooru hangs up, nothing is different. He still feels the same.

They meet new people, go to classes and talk on the weekends, plan visits. Tooru complains and Iwaizumi laughs, says he loves him. Tooru says it back and it's true but he's still waiting for something different, for waves to crash into him, take everything he's ever known and flip it upside down.

Tooru starts calling him Hajime because he thinks he should. Hajime calls him Tooru in exchange, they make fun of professors and friends. Hajime comes to visit a month after they've started dating and they spend the days they have on Tooru's dorm bed, kissing and giggling into each other's skin. Hajime laces their fingers together, Tooru looks into his eyes and it makes him laugh more. It feels so simple, so easy, so good.

They have sex on the last day Hajime's there and he keeps telling Tooru he loves him and Tooru wants to say it back but Hajime's eyes are filled with something that Tooru can't feel yet. He tells himself it's because everything is still so new. Hajime doesn't ask him to say it back, but he makes others know. Tooru's college friends poke at his hickeys for days after Hajime leaves.

Hajime waits for him when Tooru comes back to his dorm room late. Doesn't complain when Tooru forgets he was supposed to call, never wants more from him than Tooru is willing to give. When Hajime asks him, Tooru drives out to his college. Hajime's friends tell him how romantic their story is, how they wish they had a best friend that loved them that much, how Hajime never shuts up about him. Hajime blushes, pulls Tooru into his lap and kisses him. Tooru feels sick.

They have sex again and again and it always feels so intense, so filled with something Tooru doesn't recognize. Hajime gazes into his eyes, tells him he loves him. Tooru kisses him to make him shut up. They lay in bed afterwards and when everything seems simple and easy again, Tooru falls asleep in Hajime's arms.

It's weeks later and his roommate sits by her phone because her boyfriend hasn't called even though he promised he would. Tooru wonders if Hajime does the same, if he looks just as upset. Then, he goes out and gets drunk and when someone kisses him, it feels almost as nice as kissing Hajime feels. Tooru lets them pull him into their lap and smile up at him before they lean in to kiss him again. They don't tell him they love him and it feels so good to be on the same page as someone else. He only remembers to feel guilty in the morning.

They have their first big fight after they started dating over the phone and it's the worst thing that could have happened. They break up. Tooru looks at the ceiling in his dorm room and tries not to feel so empty.

Hajime shows up at his door a week later. Says he forgives him, says he doesn't care, says he loves Tooru too much to get over him. When they kiss, Hajime holds him so close it almost hurts. They have sex and Hajime cries immediately after that, Tooru holds his hand and apologizes. They go out in the morning, smile at Tooru's friends, tell them they're back together. Tooru sees the person he cheated with on campus and feels worse than he's ever felt. 

That night, they fight again because Hajime keeps saying he loves Tooru and Tooru tells him he doesn't deserve it, tells him he can never give it back, tells him that cheating was easy because no feelings were involved. Making up only lasts for a day, Hajime has to leave the next morning and they don't talk for months.

Tooru moves on, hooks up with people at parties, never goes on dates, never lets feelings blossom, tells people he'll hurt them. He dials Hajime's number a thousand times, never calls. He meets a girl and she tells him no feelings can be involved and he cries. She puts him to bed and wakes him up in the morning with coffee, listens to him talk about what happened with Hajime.

She tells him what aromantic means, drags him to meet her friends, introduces him to a couple that have been together for two years and have never felt guilty for not being in love because that's not the most important thing. The girl takes Tooru to watch movies and drags him to parties and when he cries, she holds his hand and lets him. It is a similar feeling. He calls Hajime.

It takes them two weeks of talking on the phone for it not to be awkward again. Tooru explains, as best as he can, who he thinks he is and what he feels and how he still loves Hajime, even if it's not the way Hajime had wanted him to. Hajime, in exchange, tells him about the dates he's been on, people he's met, about a girl he's been seeing for three weeks. For once, in a long time, it all feels easy again.

Hajime breaks up with the girl after a year. Tooru holds his hand and tries to cheer him up, they go drinking together. They talk over the phone every weekend again, about what's new and what's old, about friends and classes, about feelings.

After graduation, they move in together and cook side by side, go grocery shopping and tell each other to hurry up in the shower. They have a painting by one of Tooru's friends in the kitchen. Hajime makes Tooru get rid of plain yogurt ("because it's disgusting, Tooru, I will not eat disgusting food"). Hajime drives Tooru to work, Tooru makes breakfast on Sundays. They stop seeing other people.

They kiss one evening while making dinner and then pull away to ask each other if this is what they really want. They laugh into each other's mouths and kiss again, smile into each other's skin. They have sex and when the next day Hajime complains about his back hurting, Tooru calls him an old man. They redecorate, make one of the bedrooms into a guest room, make the other their own. They go on dates, kiss in the car, hold hands in the movies, pay for each other in restaurants.

They know they love each other differently now. Tooru doesn't feel guilty when Hajime tells him he loves him because he knows Hajime doesn't expect him to say it back. They grow into each other, fall into dating. It's not easy. They fight. Hajime becomes insecure, Tooru feels like he's being asked too much. But they make up, they talk it out, they build a different sort of love, new trust. They learn not to ask for things they can't get and not to promise things they can't give.

It's so much better this time.


End file.
